Sorrow, such deep sorrow.

Sorrow because I pay attention, and I write what little I can get words around.

Yet at the same time,

I am angry.

Usually, I have a great deal to say.

Today, I almost feel done with words. (For the moment at least.)

Every time I try to string words together about this, I end up erasing them back out of this post.

I am angry.

Ahead of what was happening in media reports, I watched as the bits and pieces were coming in on Twitter.

I read what people on the ground were tweeting, and saw the pictures they posted.

I am angry.

As early reports from yesterday like this AP piece flatly stated what demographically, some of us knew was a very likely scenario unfolding,

Most are reportedly children.

I am angry.

I’m furious at what the global lack of attention span and genuine empathy for Haiti’s well over a million left homeless has come to: precisely what we all knew it would unless drastic changes came quickly. Drastic changes that didn’t come in time for far too many, and have yet to come at all.

Land restructuring, debris removal, housing, and long term solutions, not stop-gap band-aids were and are neccessary, but instead the people of Haiti got… well this.

I am angry.

This, and empty promises.

Promises of monies that the international community, and yes, to our shame my own country, the United States simply has not sent the money behind its promise.

I don’t delude myself into thinking that even if every penny promised had shown up in a timely manner that it would have fixed things, or that there’s any element of any ability to control anything in this.

I am angry.

Because ten months under these conditions is simply beyond measure.

Everyone knew things were not going to even begin to come together overnight, but still… .

I am angry.

Because rebuilding Haiti has been left primarily to those who capitalize on disaster: profiteers and evangelists. Both of whom view Haitians and Haiti itself as little more than a means to an ends for their own purposes.

There are others there, trying to do right by the people, but in many ways, it’s been left to whomever wants a piece.

I am angry.

Because Haiti is not alone in suffering.

As always around the world, there are kids going to bed hungry, people homeless due to natural disasters, wars… .

We humans whittle the completely overwhelming magnitude of it all down to what we can even begin to fathom at any given point in time.

I am angry.

Once the decision to not decide about how to go forward was made, this simply became a matter of time.

I am angry.

(Because I know this will only drive would be adopters and the adoption industry into an even higher frenzy, ramping up pressure still further to remove Haitian children for adoptions, though I haven’t the stomach to look at such just yet.)

I am angry.

By the time I post these, they will already be out of date.

Outbreaks are like that.

I am angry.

• 142 dead in rural Haiti valley where cholera outbreak is worst health problem since quake
• Haiti’s first cholera epidemic in a century kills scores
• Haiti Cholera Outbreak ‘Most Dangerous Strain’
• Disease Outbreak in Haiti, Possibly Just Beginning, as Money Goes Unspent and Shelters Remain Unbuilt
• Cholera outbreak spreading in Haiti

• Partners in Health is coming up with 160 deaths just at these sites as of this morning.

As of Friday morning October 22, 2010; there have been more than 2000 cases of acute watery diarrhea and 160 deaths reported at the facilities in St. Marc, Petite Riviere d’Artibonite, Mirebalais, Lascahobas, and Verretes…

So I am angry.

Why the hell aren’t you?