About
Lauren Sabina Kneisly is a real Bastard, as “illegitimate” and buried under shame based records secrecy as the State could possibly manage.
She was born in the late 60’s in the mid-west and was adopted not long thereafter. Her original unaltered birth certificate was impounded (upon adoption) by the State and has remained under lock and key ever since. She has no knowledge of her family of origin.
Sabina, as her friends call her, wishes she didn’t have to adoption-blog. Unfortunately, the avalanche of secrecy, lies, and adoption industrial complex related corruption make acts of truth telling vital, thus, the noisy and unpleasant birth after many years of labour of “Baby Love Child,” the blog.
As truth tellings go, Baby Love Child lays no claim to a ‘universal experience,’ no, the rants herein are from Sabina’s perspective alone. That said, Sabina is far enough external to the industry, and the seats of power that it’s relatively ‘independent’ by comparison.
Baby Love Child, the blog, also has roots in exploring adoption and how it is deeply entwined with many social factors, particularly poverty. Many real life “love children” who are later adopted, are not ‘given up’ for lack of love, but for lack of resources. Many of those mislabeled “orphans” are in fact made available to the adoption process as a byproduct of grinding poverty, both domestic and global.
Diana Ross and the Supremes 1968 hit, “Love Child” spoke to that, and while there is no child in the song (just as there is no actual “baby” or “child” writing this blog) the lyrics addressed the fear that cycles of poverty and pregnancy can lead to. (Video here– just ignore the text across the bottom.)
M’s blog entry, “A Double History of the Supremes’ “Love Child”” articulately explores the heart of the song:
“Love Child” is a protest song in the same way “Blue Suede Shoes” was–a warning, or a plea, for someone to back off, in this case Diana Ross’s boyfriend. He’s pressuring her to have sex, and she wants to wait. 1968 was the year that the birth control pill, then on the market for eight years, was compared to the discovery of fire in terms of importance, but the sexual revolution wasn’t yet in full swing, and anyway the Supremes were essentially singing for kids (not a pejorative). More to the point, Diana Ross was singing as a kid–the narrative voice is clearly that of a teenager even if no ages are mentioned–a teenager telling her boyfriend why she won’t have sex with him–she will not get pregnant and continue the cycle of unwed, teenage motherhood.
Diana is also singing about something that Motown had previously used to less cutting ends: class. It came up sometimes, usually as a hurdle to be joyously overcome, as with Stevie Wonder’s “Uptight,” about “a poor man’s son” who wins the girl. The poverty in “Love Child” isn’t cute, though: It’s something you deal with because you have no choice, and something that, however successful you become, you never completely escape.
Finally, on perhaps a lighter note (or perhaps not) “Baby Love Child,” the blog, owes a great debt to Matt Groening and David Cohen’s “Futurama”, as Leela’s story, and specifically the episode “Leela’s Homeworld,” brought the plight of those adopted and whose origins are hidden from us to living rooms everywhere.
The intentional extension of the ending montage of the episode, (off air recorded tribute video here) to include more of the Pizzicato Five‘s song “Baby Love Child” is given small tribute in the blog’s tagline:
I know you love me most,
no one else take my place.
(For video click here or here.)
2010 Update: There have been some significant changes in my life since this was first written back in 2007. No doubt I will eventually be blogging about them. Bear with me.
Sabina’s non-blogging real life defies description, but her general outlook and bits and pieces of her life’s work can be found on the “Biblical America Resistance Front” (Resisting The Biblical America) which she coauthors with her life partner, Mike Doughney. Mike also has his own blog, which touches on adoption entitled Sleeps with Bastard.
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October 22nd, 2007 at 5:52 am
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October 22nd, 2007 at 1:52 pm
Aloha back to you! This is gonna be good!
October 23rd, 2007 at 6:06 pm
I look forward to reading your blog.
October 24th, 2007 at 2:25 pm
My long-ass post over there should probably be here, sorry about that!
I assume you know the history of the ORPHAN TRAINS? That is considered part of “Irish-American history” as well as the American West, but certainly something you might want to look into as blog material.
October 24th, 2007 at 5:04 pm
Daisy-
You bet I know for the Orphan Trains! It’s a topic I’ve been digging on for some time now. And sooner or later, it’ll become fodder for the blog. But to get there, we’re going to have to get through some basic history on the American Eugenic movement first.
For the benefit of readers who have no clue what we’re discussing the Wikipedia entry as a starting place, has an overview.
October 24th, 2007 at 5:46 pm
Check out THE GREAT ARIZONA ORPHAN ABDUCTION by Linda Gordon! A MUST-READ!
Short version–the Sisters of Mercy sent the Irish orphans out west, to be raised by good Catholic families. And of course, who might that be, in Arizona? Yup, Mexicans.
And all hell broke loose. The white GOVERNMENT took the children away!
It’s an amazing story that has mostly been lost to history.
November 16th, 2007 at 7:28 pm
Hi, just a lost bastard here who wandered in for a look… great observations, great writing! Looking forward to more.
November 17th, 2007 at 10:45 am
Hi Jim,
Lost Bastards welcome here! (Hell, found Bastards welcome here too!)
Thanks for the kind words, keeps me at it when the world looks way Bastard bleak.
August 3rd, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Sabina;
Go get em Girl!!!! This industry has been hiding under loose lies, laws and fraud for too long.
Celebrate, finally we are closing these people down that should never have been granted a license where there is no one enforcing the regulations.
It takes the acts of people who have been victimized to get the government to take action.
I am all for finding children homes who TRULY need them, but not with this cloak of secrecy and the money $$$$ that is involved.
If we could take the profit out we might have cleaner adoptions. We need Adoptive Parents and Prospective Adoptive Parents to stop feeding the ugly monster.
The millions these “so-called” “non-profit” agencies make is sickening. check out free website to 990 IRS returns for non-profits and it will shock you.
http://www.guidestar.com
August 25th, 2008 at 2:40 am
Hi, great site. Just exploring it. Go adoptees. I thought Oregon would change the world, but it seems we were irrelevant. 🙁
records still closed in almost every state. travesty. so wrong.
Anyway, keep blogging, end the shame, stay in the game, old school secret adoptions suck.
August 25th, 2008 at 4:20 am
Good to hear from you Helen!
Oregon did change the world, for some of us. Certainly for those who now have access. I would never call Oregon “irrelevant”.
Measure 58 went a long way towards ‘expanding the idea of the possible’, showing that under the right conditions change absolutely is possible- AND that those changes, far from the predictions of doom and gloom the naysayers insisted would come to pass, have instead resulted in incredibly positive outcomes for so many.
Ultimately honesty matters. Lies cannot form the basis of our lives, and measure 58 made that abundantly clear.
Since then, though industry has dug in, in no small part due to coming to the full realization of what they stand to lose. Many in the industry now understand just how much of a threat steadfast Bastards really can be to them and the corrupt practices that have become business as usual in many portions of the industry.
The external climate has changed greatly since Oregon. But NEVER underestimate the importance of what you and others did there. It has been tremendously important to many of us.
On a more personal note, thank you for the kind words. Coming from you, well, I’m honoured.
March 30th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
I’m so thankful I found your blog. Your insights are both intellectually stimulating and reflective.
February 21st, 2010 at 8:28 pm
The Guardian newspaper has a piece about Jenatte Winterspoon who wrote Oranges Aren’t the Only Fruit at: http://www.guardian.co.uk
Appreciate all you do.
Merci et gracias.
May 2nd, 2010 at 5:39 am
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